King of Wishful Thinking
by Kayos209
Summary: Sirius loves Lily. How does he handle knowing he can’t have her? This is his story.


TITLE: King of Wishful Thinking DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. If I did, it would be really cool. SUMMARY: Sirius loves Lily. How does he handle knowing he can't have her?  
  
**************************************************************************** **************************************************************************** * KING OF WISHFUL THINKING by GO WEST I don't need to fall at your feet, just 'cause you cut me to the bone. And I won't miss the way that you kiss me; we were never carved in stone. If I don't listen to the talk of the town, Then maybe I can fool myself...I'll get over you. I know I will. I'll pretend my ship's not sinking. And I'll tell myself, I'm over you, 'cause I'm the king of wishful thinking. I am the king of wishful thinking. I refuse to give in to my blues, that's not how it's going to be. And I deny the tears in my eyes, I don't want to let you see.. No. That you have made a hole in my heart, and now I've got to fool myself...I'll get over you. I know I will. I'll pretend my ship's not sinking. And I'll tell myself, I'm over you 'cause I'm the king of wishful thinking. I'll get over you... I know I will. I'll pretend my ship's not sinking. And I'll tell myself, I'm over you 'cause I'm the king of wishful thinking. I will never, never, never, shed a tear for you I'll get over you. If I don't listen to the talk of the town, then maybe I can fool myself. I'll get over you. I know I will, I'll pretend my ship's not sinking. And I'll tell myself I'm over you 'cause I'm the king of wishful thinking. I'm the king of wishful thinking. I'll get over you... I know I will, you made a hole in my heart. But I won't shed a tear for you. I'll be the king of wishful thinking. I'll get over you. I know I will. I'll pretend my heart's still beating, 'cause I've got no more tears for you. I'm the king of wishful thinking.I'll get over you.. I know I will. You made a hole in my heart. And I'll tell myself I'm over you 'cause I'm the king of wishful thinking. **************************************************************************** **************************************************************************** *********************  
  
I loved her. I have always loved her. Ever since that day that I met her on the Hogwarts Express.  
  
Me and my friend James Potter had been wondering up and down the aisles of the train playing pranks on the other students. We had just pulled off a very hilarious prank and were heading up the aisles, when James ran into a girl knocking her down.  
  
James, the manners that had been engraved into him since the moment of his birth, helped the young girl up with a smile and an apology. "It's alright," she said, smiling and walking past us down the aisle.  
  
We soon learned that her name was Lily. Such an appropriate name for my little flower.  
  
We have all been friends ever since that moment, sharing our secrets with each other without having to worry that within one hour, that secret will be all over the school. We trusted one another. It was the perfect friendship.  
  
In our fourth year, James asked Lily to accompany him to the ball. Needless to say I was crushed. "Yeah right," you're probably saying. Sirius Black actually being serious. Seems highly unlikely.  
  
But it's true. I was crushed. I knew she would never be mine from the moment that James told me he was going with Lily to the ball. He was so happy that he didn't notice that I was dying on the inside. Lily, however, did notice. She noticed that I wasn't, as she put is, "my normal self."  
  
What is normal anyways? Is it getting you heart broken by your best friend? Is it standing on the sidelines and watching as the girl you love gazes at another guy with a look of love in her eyes, the gaze that you've been hoping to be directed in your direction?  
  
I told her that I wanted to go with this girl to the ball but she already had a date. Lily said that it would be okay and that I would most definitely find someone to go to the ball with.  
  
Time seemed to have passed very fast during the next couple of weeks that before I knew it, James and I were pulling on our dress robes for the ball. I had acquired a date for the ball, a 4th year Gryffindor named Molly Sanderson.  
  
James and I headed down to the Gryffindor common room. My palms were sweating and I was chewing my fingernails. You could tell how nervous I was. About what I don't know.  
  
A few minutes later the girls came down. The world seemed to have stopped turning as soon as I laid eyes on Lily. She looked like an angel that I could have sworn my heart stopped beating. It was then and there that I fell in love with her. 


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